5 Performance Strategies Every Contractor Needs to Succeed

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Introduction: The Problem Every Contractor Faces

Are you a contractor constantly feeling overwhelmed by endless projects, tight deadlines, and juggling client expectations? You’re not alone. Managing a contracting business can feel like a never-ending cycle of stress, where balancing personal and professional life seems impossible. If you’ve ever wondered, “How can I get ahead and stay in control?”—you’re in the right place.

I'm Bob Turner, a performance coach with over 20 years in the contracting industry. I’ve been through the same struggles and now help contractors like you to streamline their businesses and find work-life balance. In this article, you’ll walk away with five simple, yet powerful, strategies that will transform how you manage your contracting business—from time management to building mental resilience.

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1. Time-Blocking: Master Your Schedule and Priorities

One of the biggest challenges contractors face is time management. With client meetings, site visits, and administrative work, it feels like there are never enough hours in the day.

Solution: Time-blocking.

Time-blocking means dedicating specific parts of your day to specific tasks. For example, you might spend mornings on job sites, afternoons on client communication, and evenings catching up on paperwork or spending time with family.

Why it works: By allocating set times for different tasks, you avoid distractions and procrastination. You’ll know exactly what to focus on each day, which can lower stress and make you more efficient.

Example: Let’s say you block two hours in the afternoon solely for returning client calls and emails. This structured approach will not only make you more responsive but also ensure other priorities don’t get lost in the chaos.

Pro Tip: Start small. Block time for your top three daily priorities and see how much more control you feel by the end of the week.

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2. Master Communication: Clear Talk Means Fewer Delays

How often do project delays or mistakes happen because someone didn’t communicate properly? Whether you’re managing subcontractors or dealing with clients, clear communication is essential in contracting.

Solution: Master communication by being specific and organized.

Make your expectations clear from the beginning and use tools like JobTread to keep everyone on the same page. These project management tools can document conversations, track changes, and ensure nothing gets missed.

Example: At the end of each day, check in with your team to ensure everyone understands the next day’s tasks. Ask if there are any questions or uncertainties. This small step can prevent big problems later.

Pro Tip: Create a “communication checklist” that you follow before sending an email or making a call. It will remind you to clarify key points, ask the right questions, and avoid misunderstandings.

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3. Build Success Habits: Structure Your Day for Growth

Starting your day in a state of chaos—phone ringing, emails piling up—only sets you up for more stress. Successful contractors build routines that prioritize personal and business growth.

Solution: Develop daily success habits.

Begin each day with a routine that sets you up for success. This could mean spending 10 minutes reviewing your top priorities, doing a quick workout, or meditating to get your mind clear before you dive into work.

Example: Contractors often start their day by checking emails. Try something different—avoid your phone for the first 30 minutes and instead, review your project schedule, set daily goals, and make sure you’re mentally prepared.

Pro Tip: A solid morning routine sets the tone for your day. Even a 10-minute daily routine can drastically improve your focus and productivity.

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4. Systematize Your Business: Work Smarter, Not Harder

If you’re constantly “putting out fires,” it’s time to systematize your processes. Successful contractors streamline their businesses by creating systems for repetitive tasks.

Solution: Systematization.

Start by documenting repetitive processes like client onboarding, project bids, or invoicing. This allows you to delegate tasks and focus on higher-level business activities.

Example: Write down a step-by-step guide for onboarding a new client. Once the process is documented, you can hand it off to a team member or automate it using project management software.

Pro Tip: Start with the task that consumes the most time and stress, and either automate it or delegate it. Systematizing this one task can give you back hours in your week.

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5. Build Mental Resilience: Thrive Under Pressure

Let’s face it—contracting is a high-stress profession. When projects run behind or clients demand more than expected, it can feel overwhelming. The key to thriving in this industry isn’t avoiding stress—it’s learning to handle it better.

Solution: Build mental resilience.

This is the ability to stay calm and focused even under extreme pressure. Mindfulness practices, like deep breathing or meditation, can help manage stress. Taking care of your health—regular exercise, good nutrition, and adequate sleep—also plays a crucial role.

Example: When you’re feeling stressed, take 5 minutes to practice deep breathing. This simple technique can lower stress levels and improve your decision-making in tough situations.

Pro Tip: Create a 5-minute daily mindfulness practice to clear your mind before handling any major stress points in your day.

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Conclusion: Take Control of Your Business and Life Today

The contracting business is tough, but you don’t have to go it alone. By applying these five strategies—time-blocking, mastering communication, building success habits, systematizing processes, and strengthening mental resilience—you’ll not only improve your business but also reduce stress and find better work-life balance.

At Summit Coaching & Consulting, we specialize in helping contractors like you transform their businesses. With over 20 years of experience, we offer customized coaching to fit your unique needs.

Ready to take your business to the next level? Download our free mindset checklist below and book a discovery call today!

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Unlocking the Power of AI: How Contractors Can Use ChatGPT to Transform Their Business

I'm up early this morning, sipping hot coffee and cruising the "inter webs". I saw a comment about Artificial Intelligence (AI) and thought I would share the little that I know so far. 

I have been having fun with Chat-GPT (AI) lately. I wanted to give you an example of how to use it and what it can do. I created the simple prompt below and the result is the article. Mind blowing really. And I am only scratching the surface...

Prompt: "As an expert in AI, write an engaging article for contractors. I want you to explain what AI / Chat-GPT can do for someone running a contracting business. Discuss the importance of a good prompt and how to create one. Make the reader feel comfortable and want to try using this new technology rather than viewing it as "cheating" or some other limiting belief. Keep it to 1500 words, make it inspirational and upbeat. Stay away from all the common words that might make it sound like AI as well."

Unlocking the Power of AI: How Contractors Can Use ChatGPT to Transform Their Business

As a contractor, you’re used to solving problems on the go. You’ve mastered the art of balancing tight deadlines, managing multiple projects, and keeping your team focused. But like any business owner, you may have found yourself stretched too thin at times, wishing there was a way to make everything run smoother. Enter AI, specifically ChatGPT—a tool that could become one of your greatest allies in running your contracting business more efficiently and effectively.

Artificial intelligence is no longer the exclusive domain of tech companies and software developers. It’s here, and it’s ready to work for you. Let’s dive into what AI like ChatGPT can do for your contracting business, how you can use it, and why creating good prompts is the key to unlocking its full potential.

Why AI is the Future for Contractors

First off, AI isn’t here to replace your expertise. No machine can match the hands-on knowledge you’ve gained from years of work in the field. What AI can do, however, is act as your personal assistant, streamlining many of the administrative tasks that often eat into your valuable time. Whether it’s drafting emails, generating quotes, or organizing schedules, ChatGPT is designed to help you work smarter, not harder.

Imagine having a tool that could instantly assist you with client communication, refine project plans, or even help you brainstorm new business strategies—all in a matter of seconds. This is where ChatGPT shines. It’s like having an extra team member who’s always available, never sleeps, and is ready to answer your questions, provide solutions, or help you come up with new ideas.

For many contractors, the biggest hurdle is simply understanding how to make this technology work for them. You might wonder, “How do I tell it what I need?” or even “Isn’t this cheating?” It’s time to clear up those misconceptions and open the door to an exciting new way of running your business.

The Key to Unlocking AI’s Power: The Right Prompt

Think of ChatGPT as a high-performance machine. If you don’t give it clear instructions, it can’t perform at its best. The key to getting the most out of AI is learning how to ask the right questions, or in AI terms, how to craft the right prompt.

A prompt is simply the request or instruction you give to ChatGPT. The more specific and detailed your prompt, the better the AI can assist you. This is no different from explaining a job to one of your crew members. If you tell them, “Go fix the plumbing,” without explaining where, how, or what tools to use, they’re bound to waste time or get it wrong. ChatGPT works the same way.

So, how do you create a good prompt? Let’s break it down.

1. Be Clear and Specific
   Just like you wouldn’t hand a vague blueprint to a subcontractor, your prompt needs to be detailed. Instead of asking, “How do I grow my business?” ask, “Can you give me a list of ways I can market my contracting business locally, including social media and word-of-mouth strategies?”

2. Set a Clear Goal
   If you know what you want to achieve, ChatGPT can help you get there faster. For example, if you need help writing a response to a client inquiry, don’t just say, “Write an email.” Instead, try, “I need to respond to a potential client who asked about our home remodeling services. Can you help me draft a polite but persuasive email outlining our approach, timeline, and pricing options?”

3. Provide Context
   Just like you provide context to your crew when they start a new job, it helps to give ChatGPT a little background. If you need help organizing your schedule, you could say, “I’ve got three big projects this month: a kitchen remodel, a new deck, and a bathroom renovation. Can you help me create a timeline that prioritizes efficiency and client satisfaction?”

4. Experiment and Refine
   Don’t be afraid to tweak your prompts as you go. Think of it as a learning curve, like picking up a new tool on-site. The more you use it, the better you’ll understand how to get the most out of it. Ask for clarification, request more detail, or even ask ChatGPT to summarize a long piece of information to make it more manageable.

Using AI Without Losing Your Personal Touch

One of the biggest concerns contractors may have about using AI is the fear that it will replace the personal touch they bring to their work. The truth is, AI can’t replicate your relationships with clients, your ability to lead your team, or your expertise in the field. What it can do, though, is help you enhance those aspects by freeing up your time and mental energy.

For example, ChatGPT can help you draft follow-up emails that sound professional and polished, but you’ll still be the one setting the tone. You can ask it to review documents or contracts, catching small errors that could save you headaches later. In the end, you remain in control of the decisions and the direction of your business—ChatGPT is simply there to support you.

Rather than thinking of AI as "cheating" or cutting corners, consider it a tool that lets you focus on what you do best: building, problem-solving, and managing your team. It’s about removing the friction from daily tasks that pull you away from your core expertise.

Practical Ways Contractors Can Use ChatGPT

Let’s get into some specifics. How exactly can AI help you in your contracting business? Here are just a few ways ChatGPT can make your life easier:

1. Generating Quotes and Proposals
   Tired of spending hours drafting estimates? Feed ChatGPT the basic information—project type, materials needed, labor costs—and it can generate a detailed quote or proposal in seconds. You can then review and adjust it to your liking.

2. Client Communication
   Whether it’s responding to inquiries, following up on leads, or sending out project updates, ChatGPT can help you draft clear, professional messages quickly. No more struggling with wording or forgetting key details.

3. Marketing and Social Media
   Marketing your business can be a full-time job in itself, but with ChatGPT, you can easily brainstorm content ideas for your website, blog, or social media pages. It can even help you write posts that highlight your services and showcase your completed projects.

4. Scheduling and Time Management
   Juggling multiple jobs at once is a challenge, but ChatGPT can help you prioritize tasks, organize your calendar, and make sure nothing slips through the cracks. Just feed it the details of your projects, and it can help you structure your time more efficiently.

5. Troubleshooting and Problem-Solving
   Got a tough problem on-site and need a quick second opinion? While ChatGPT can’t physically be there, it can offer advice or suggest solutions based on the information you provide. Whether it’s a technical issue or a client negotiation, it can give you fresh ideas and insights.

Why You Should Embrace AI Now

The world of contracting is competitive, and every edge you can gain over the competition is valuable. AI is not a passing trend—it’s the future. By embracing tools like ChatGPT now, you’re positioning yourself ahead of the curve.

It’s normal to feel uncertain about new technology, but think of it this way: you’ve already adapted to new tools, materials, and methods over the course of your career. ChatGPT is just the latest addition to your toolkit. It’s not about replacing what you do but enhancing how you do it. It’s about working smarter, finding new ways to streamline your business, and ultimately providing better service to your clients.

Take the leap and experiment with AI in your contracting business. You might just find that it becomes your secret weapon—helping you manage time, communicate better, and grow your business more than you ever thought possible.

Closing Thoughts: Get Started Today

So, what’s holding you back? Give ChatGPT a try and see how it can fit into your daily operations. Whether you need help with client communication, project management, or marketing, AI is a powerful tool that’s ready to help you take your contracting business to the next level.

Remember, the key to success is in the prompt. Be clear, be specific, and don’t be afraid to experiment. You’ll be surprised at how much easier things can get when you’ve got a tool that works as hard as you do.

Welcome to the future of contracting—where technology meets craftsmanship, and the possibilities are endless.

How Contractors Can Build Mental Resilience Under Pressure

 

Introduction: The Problem Contractors Face Under Pressure

Being a contractor is not easy. Tight deadlines, fluctuating budgets, difficult clients, and unexpected delays are just part of the job. But beyond these day-to-day stressors, there’s something bigger at play—the immense pressure that can weigh on your mental health.

As a contractor, you know the feeling: the pressure to finish a job on time, the frustration when things don’t go as planned, and the sleepless nights worrying about meeting expectations. This can lead to burnout, anxiety, or worse—a complete mental breakdown. It might feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, and if you drop the ball, everything could fall apart.

But here's the thing: you’re not alone in this. Every contractor faces pressure. The key to thriving isn’t avoiding stress—it’s building the mental resilience to push through it and come out stronger. You may be wondering, "Is that even possible?" Yes, it is, and I'm here to show you how. In this article, you’ll learn about the concept of mental resilience, why it’s so critical for contractors, and practical ways to strengthen your mindset to handle whatever gets thrown at you.

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Understanding Mental Resilience

What is Mental Resilience?

Mental resilience is your mind’s ability to handle stress, bounce back from challenges, and adapt to difficult situations without crumbling under pressure. For contractors, this means staying calm and focused even when things don’t go according to plan.

Unlike physical strength, mental resilience doesn’t come naturally to everyone. But like a muscle, it can be developed and strengthened over time.

Psychological Challenges Contractors Face

Contractors often deal with unique psychological challenges:

• Constant Uncertainty: Projects rarely go as expected. From material shortages to weather delays, people not showing up, you’re often in a reactive mode. 
• High-Stakes Responsibility: The success or failure of a project rests on your shoulders. That’s a heavy burden. You're the contractor, you are accountable to your customer.
• Work-Life Balance: Long hours, late nights, and weekend work can strain personal relationships, causing emotional fatigue. Giving up means getting a "real job" and tapping out on your dreams.

This constant pressure can wear down your mental strength over time. Without resilience, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, make poor decisions, or burn out.

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Common Stressors for Contractors

Tight Deadlines and Budget Constraints

The pressure of meeting deadlines can make or break a project. Clients often demand more than what’s possible in a short time, and budgets can shrink unexpectedly. This stress is amplified when you’re responsible for making sure everything runs smoothly in an environment of constant unknowns.

Managing Multiple Projects

Juggling several jobs at once can feel like spinning plates. If one falls, the rest may follow. It’s tough to keep everything in balance while managing various teams, deadlines, and client expectations. Often times the general perception of a contractor is that they are the "deep pocket", printing money and driving a $70,000 truck. The real reality is that they are just trying to get out of there with the shirt on their back.

Difficult Clients and Unexpected Problems

Whether it’s a client who constantly changes their mind or a sudden problem on the job site, handling surprises is a constant in the life of a contractor. And it’s exhausting. If you are an empath, this stuff stays with you when you get home and all weekend long. It's hard to shake.

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How Mental Resilience Benefits Contractors

Mental resilience isn’t just about handling stress; it offers many benefits that can improve both your personal and professional life. It can help create a necessary boundary between work and life.

Improved Decision-Making Under Stress

When you’re mentally resilient, you can think clearly under pressure. This helps you make better decisions, even when deadlines are tight or things go wrong. Instead of panicking, you can calmly assess the situation and take logical steps forward. As a contractor, staying calm and being in control is critical to success.

Enhanced Leadership and Team Management

A mentally resilient contractor can lead by example. When your team sees you staying calm in a crisis, they’ll be more likely to stay composed themselves. Resilience allows you to communicate effectively and keep everyone on track, even in high-stress situations. Construction can be emotional, especially for the client. Taking the emotional out of it and staying in control can be hard, but it's necessary.

Long-Term Personal and Business Success

Over time, mental resilience helps you avoid burnout and maintain your motivation. You’ll be better equipped to handle the ups and downs of the industry, which leads to sustained success in both your business and personal life. One of my mantras lately has been "let it go". Not every comment needs to be responded to. Not every passive aggressive comment needs to rent space in my head.

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Top Strategies to Build Mental Resilience as a Contractor

1. Focus on Controllable Factors

One of the biggest sources of stress is trying to control things that are out of your hands. Weather delays, supply chain issues, or client changes can throw a wrench in your plans. The key to resilience is accepting that you can’t control everything—only your response. In short, control what you can control.

Instead of stressing over what you can’t change, focus on:

• Planning for the Unexpected: Always have a backup plan. Stay a step ahead.
• Staying Flexible: Be willing to adapt to changes without frustration. Changes are part of the game.
• Managing Your Reaction: Keep your emotions in check and focus on solving the problem rather than dwelling on it. You are the professional. Act like it.

2. Develop a Daily Mental Conditioning Routine

Just like you condition your body for physical endurance, you need to condition your mind to handle pressure. Developing a daily routine can help keep your mindset strong.

Some simple mental conditioning practices include:

• Morning Meditation: Take five minutes each morning to breathe deeply and center your mind. This can help you stay calm and focused throughout the day. For me, it's a quiet corner on the couch with a cup of coffee, complete silence, and some relaxation prior to the chaos of the day unwinding.
• Visualization: Before a big project, visualize the challenges you may face and how you’ll overcome them. Don't try to do all yourself. Reach out for help when needed.
• Positive Affirmations: Repeating positive statements like "I can handle anything" helps build mental strength over time. Control the narrative in your own head or someone else will.

3. Embrace Stress as a Growth Opportunity

Instead of viewing stress as something negative, mentally resilient contractors see it as a challenge to overcome. Every stressful situation is an opportunity to learn and grow. There is value and everything.

When you face a challenge, ask yourself:

• What can I learn from this?
• How will overcoming this make me stronger?
• What can I do to avoid this happening in the future?

By reframing your mindset, you can transform stress into a tool for growth.

4. Build a Support System of Peers 

No contractor should go it alone. Building a network of peers, mentors, or even other contractors can provide you with valuable advice and emotional support. Talking with others who have been through similar challenges can help you gain new perspectives and make informed decisions. I have one local contractor I grab lunch with occasionally and we commiserate and breathe life into each other. It is refreshing to know that others are often times dealing with the same things.

Mentorship is especially powerful. Having someone in your corner who understands the demands of your industry can help you stay grounded and resilient. And don't hesitate to help someone else who might be a lap or two behind you on this journey as a contractor. It is often said that the best way to help yourself is to help someone else. You may bring more value to the table than you give yourself credit for.

5. Prioritize Physical Health for Mental Well-being

Your mental and physical health are closely linked. Exercise, sleep, and proper nutrition play a crucial role in your mental resilience. A strong body helps create a strong mind. For years the vision of a stereotypical contractor guy is that of a rugged dude with tattoos and a beer gut. Buck the trend and square yourself away. Presentation is everything.

• Exercise Regularly: Physical activity reduces stress hormones and boosts your mood.
• Get Enough Sleep: Sleep is essential for recovery—both mental and physical.
• Eat a Balanced Diet: Proper nutrition fuels your brain, helping you stay focused and clear-headed.

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Real-Life Examples: Contractors Who Strengthened Their Mental Resilience

Tile Installation Contractor Matt once played small ball, operating his business with a scarcity mindset. Matt went to work on himself, diving into personal development, completing 75 hard and taking a good hard long look at all of his personal relationships. It took some time, but after squaring all of those things away, Matt is running on all eight cylinders, both personally and professionally.

General contractor Bill was loaded with stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. He reached out for mentorship and coaching, and started tackling some of the hurdles in front of him. Pulling his head out of the sand was hard at first, but then he realized that the problems he had were just being made bigger by not facing them. He got his nutrition, sleep, and exercise dialed in, allowing himself some time in the morning. The momentum he created at the beginning of the day is now carrying through and making a difference to his bottom line.

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Daily Habits to Maintain Mental Toughness

Building mental resilience isn’t a one-time effort; it’s an ongoing process. Here are some daily habits to keep your mental toughness sharp:

• Practice Gratitude: Focus on what’s going well, even during tough times. Be grateful!
• Reflect on the Day: At the end of each day, think about what you learned and how you handled stress. Be honest with yourself. There is always room for improvement.
• Take Breaks: Give yourself time to recharge, both mentally and physically. Rome wasn't built in a day.
• Stay Adaptable: Remain open to change, and adjust your approach when necessary. Listen. Leave your ego in the truck. You might be surprised what you learn.

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How Mental Resilience Can Lead to Business Growth

When you build mental resilience, you don’t just improve your mental health—you improve your business. Contractors who handle stress well are more likely to build strong relationships with clients, lead effective teams, and consistently deliver high-quality work.

• Better Problem-Solving: You can tackle unexpected issues without hesitation. And it feels good.
• Stronger Client Relationships: Clients appreciate contractors who stay calm and professional under pressure. They want to know that you have things under control.
• Consistent Performance: A resilient mindset allows you to maintain high performance, even in challenging circumstances. This is how winning is done.

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Conclusion: Building Mental Resilience is the Foundation for Success

Contracting is one of the most stressful jobs out there, but with the right mindset, you can not only survive the pressure but thrive in it. By focusing on controllable factors, building daily mental conditioning routines, and embracing challenges as growth opportunities, you can strengthen your mental resilience and become a more successful contractor.

Remember, mental resilience isn’t about eliminating stress; it’s about building the strength to handle it effectively. Start small, implement these strategies, and watch how they transform both your work and your life.

Tired of feeling stressed and overwhelmed with your business? Ready to take the next step to build a business that you don't hate? Book a free discovery call here, I can help. 

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Embracing Discomfort: The Key to Personal Growth and Success

We’ve all been there—stuck in a routine, comfortable but stagnant. It's human nature to cling to what’s familiar. Yet, growth happens only when we step outside of our comfort zone and challenge ourselves. If you’re not willing to experience discomfort, then you’re not ready to achieve greatness. Growth, whether personal or professional, is forged in the fires of discomfort.

The Power of Discomfort

Think about your biggest achievements. Were they handed to you? Probably not. Whether it was running your first marathon, launching a business, or mastering a new skill, the road to success is paved with challenges. Discomfort is not something to avoid; it’s something to embrace. It’s the signpost that you’re pushing your limits and getting closer to the version of yourself you want to be.

You see, I believe that staying in your comfort zone is like living in a small, dimly lit room. You might feel safe, but you’re not growing. Every time you push against the walls of that room, you expand it. The more you push, the larger your room becomes, and suddenly, what once seemed impossible is now within reach.

My Own Journey with Discomfort

While I’ve expanded into coaching with Summit Coaching and Consulting, I haven’t completely stepped away from my contracting business. In fact, I’ve pushed the boundaries by combining both ventures. Balancing these roles has allowed me to explore what’s possible when you truly commit to growth in multiple areas. At some point, I may transition fully into coaching, but for now, I’m fortunate to be able to do both as I continue building my coaching business while pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

For me, discomfort has been a constant companion, but it’s also been the key to unlocking my potential. Whether it’s taking on new challenges in contracting or guiding my coaching clients through their own discomfort, I live what I preach.

Discomfort as a Tool for Growth

One of the biggest misconceptions about discomfort is that it’s negative. It’s not. Discomfort is simply feedback—it’s telling you that you’re doing something new, something that will eventually lead to growth. The more you lean into discomfort, the better you become at handling it. Your tolerance for discomfort increases, and soon, you’ll find yourself chasing after bigger challenges because you know that’s where the growth happens.

Imagine yourself like a piece of steel being forged in fire. The process isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. Every challenge you face is like a hammer striking that steel, shaping you into a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. You don’t grow by staying in the flames, but by stepping through them and emerging on the other side.

How to Embrace Discomfort

If you’re ready to embrace discomfort, start by setting small, achievable goals that push your boundaries. Take a cold shower, start a new workout routine, or speak up in a meeting when you’d normally stay quiet.  As you begin to feel more comfortable with discomfort, raise the stakes. Run that marathon, launch that business, or have the tough conversation you’ve been avoiding.

The key is to take one step at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself by jumping into something too big too soon. Instead, gradually build your resilience, and soon you’ll find that discomfort isn’t something to fear—it’s something to pursue.

The Silent Struggle: Why Friends Sometimes Don't Reach Out

In the midst of life's trials and tribulations, there's a common thread that often goes unnoticed—the silent struggle of those closest to us. Recently, I found myself in a peculiar situation where two of my dearest friends faced challenging times yet chose to suffer in silence rather than reaching out for support. Initially perplexed and somewhat offended, I couldn't help but wonder why they would withhold their burdens from me, the self-proclaimed "fixer" with a metaphorical cape tucked away in the closet.

Their explanation was simple yet profound: they believed I was doing exceptionally well and feared burdening me with their troubles. In their eyes, I appeared to be navigating life smoothly, and they didn't want to disrupt that facade or add unnecessary weight to my shoulders. It was a gesture of protection, albeit misguided.

At first, I grappled with feelings of rejection and misunderstanding. Why would they assume I couldn't handle their struggles? Wasn't that what friendship was all about—supporting each other through thick and thin? However, upon deeper reflection, I realized that their actions weren't a reflection of my inadequacy as a friend; rather, they were a testament to their selflessness and concern for my well-being. (See, I have grown. 😉)

In our society, there's an unspoken expectation that friends should always be there for each other, ready to swoop in and fix whatever problems arise. As a self-proclaimed fixer, I've fallen victim to this mindset more times than I care to admit. I wear it well. But what if our highest and best purpose as friends isn't always about fixing each other's problems? What if it's about something far more profound—acknowledging each other's struggles, offering unconditional support, and respecting each other's autonomy? It took a couple of conversations with Wendy to come to terms with this. I kept saying "If they have and arrow like ME in their quiver, why not use it?" I didn't understand.

I wish I had taken a more reflective approach on the the front end. In hindsight, I realized that by focusing solely on my desire to "fix" my friends' problems, I was inadvertently undermining their agency and discounting their ability to navigate their own challenges. I failed to see that sometimes, the greatest gift we can offer each other is the freedom to confront our demons in our own way and on our own terms.

This "Ah-ha" moment prompted a shift in perspective. Instead of lamenting my friends' reluctance to confide in me, I chose to honor their decision and channel my energy into creating an environment where they felt comfortable sharing their struggles without fear of judgment or undue pressure. I learned to listen without offering unsolicited advice, to empathize without trying to "fix," and to simply be there—no cape required. I learned to speak the words "How can I help you the most right now?".

The truth is, we all have our moments of vulnerability and weakness, and it's during these times that our friendships are truly put to the test. But true friendship isn't about fixing each other's problems or always being the hero—it's about showing up, being present, and loving each other unconditionally, flaws and all. To me, that's being a true hero. They say that a true friend is someone that knows everything about you and likes you anyway. I believe this whole heartedly.

So to my dear friends who chose to suffer in silence, know this: your struggles are not a burden but an opportunity for growth, and your strength in facing them alone is nothing short of admirable. And to all those who, like me, have a tendency to don the cape of the fixer, remember this: sometimes, the greatest act of kindness is simply being there, capeless and vulnerable, ready to listen, support, and love without reservation.

I'm still keeping the cape handy though - jus' sayin'. ❤️😉

-BT

"Be the energy you want to attract"

I was asked to further explain the quote I posted yesterday. I like to post positive, motivational stuff in the wee hours of the morning. 😊 The quote "Be the energy you want to attract" is often interpreted within the context of the law of attraction and personal development. Further explained:

Law of Attraction: The law of attraction suggests that like attracts like, meaning the energy you put out into the world is what you'll receive in return. If you put out positive energy, you'll attract positive experiences and people into your life, whereas negative energy will attract negativity. Once I decided I was going to push out positive vibes I seemed to get that in return. We have a CHOICE about how we interact with people. Choose positivity and see what happens.

Personal Energy: Your energy refers to your overall vibe, attitude, and demeanor. It encompasses your thoughts, feelings, and actions. If you want to attract certain qualities or experiences into your life, you must TRULY embody those qualities yourself. It's not easy - it takes work. Working with a mindset coach helped me tremendously here. 

Self-Reflection: This encourages self-reflection and self-awareness. It prompts you to examine the energy you're currently projecting and consider whether it aligns with what you truly desire in life. If you want to attract love, success, abundance, or happiness, you must first cultivate those qualities within yourself. Many people have gone through something major and can't seem to get out of that rut. Becoming aware of it is the first step!

Authenticity: Being the energy you want to attract also emphasizes authenticity. It's not about pretending (don't be a fake) to be someone you're not, but rather about embodying the best version of yourself and aligning your actions and intentions with your desires. It takes work and consistency to pull this off.

Mindset Shift: This quote inspire a mindset shift (my goal here 😉) from a passive to an active approach to life. Instead of waiting for positive things to come your way, you take ownership of your energy and actively cultivate the experiences you desire. Take action, move forward, disrupt the pattern.

Positive Influence: By being the energy you want to attract, you not only improve your own life but also positively influence the environment and people around you. Your positive energy can uplift others and create a ripple effect of positivity. I have seen this first hand in just the way I go about life. When I do something epic like climb Mt Washington in the winter, I like to post it on social - not to boast, but to inspire someone else to take action. That's positive influence and It's also my way of being the energy I want to attract. 

I hope this serves as a reminder to take responsibility for the energy you bring into the world and to consciously cultivate the qualities and experiences you desire in your life. People are watching, make sure they see good stuff. 😊

Everything You Need Is Already In You.

 

Just some thoughts from The Cockpit this morning. 

I’m up early again, working on World Domination (😄).  I decide to flip back through my notes from the bootcamp I went to in Vegas in October. Here are some things I wrote as I listened to the speakers. 

I get to choose how I speak to myself. Have you ever caught yourself driving down the road just ripping into yourself? I heard it said the other day "be careful how you talk to yourself because your body can't tell the difference”. I think there's something to this. I've been catching myself lately, not giving myself slack. Try giving yourself a little bit of grace and understand that Rome wasn't built in a day.

Trusting the process is not enough. You must ATTACK the process. We hear this a lot..."Trust the process". Is there some magical level of success at the end of trusting the process? I don't think so. I think you need to get up every day and go right at it. Take action. I am a “shoot, aim, ready” guy, not a “ready, aim, shoot”, guy. Most times this approach serves me well. I don't wait. I make things happen. When I DO wait, I find that I am disappointed to see an opportunity slip by.

You will never rise above the level of your health. I believe it all starts with your health. It doesn't make sense to be worldly successful in business if you don't have a body to enjoy it with. Do what you need to do on a daily basis to make sure that when you reach your level of success, whatever that is, you actually can enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Narrative determines outcome. We control our own narrative. As I mentioned above, how we speak to ourselves can make a big difference. Rewrite your own narrative if you need to. Say it out loud and listen to what it sounds like. Mine lately has been "I am becoming a sought after Speaker and Coach”. Bold? You’re damn right. If I can't say it out loud and believe it, how in the world would I expect anyone else to?

Feedback - What CHAMPIONS eat for breakfast. I love feedback. To me it's just a faster way to get better. It can be a little bit rough on the ego at times but it's good healthy exercise for the mind to be able to listen to feedback. Take it all in, decide what of it you are going to use to get better and get rid of the rest. 

Own your mind, control the controllable. This can be a daily battle, and it should be if you're doing it right. A lot of the guys that I interact with these days start their day with some gratitude, some meditation, or some journaling. I believe that gets your day off on the right foot. My routine seems to be to get in "the cockpit", My corner of the couch where I can reach my coffee, open up the laptop and enjoy my most creative part of the day. It's LITERALLY what I'm doing right now. This sets up my day and gets me off on the right foot.

Start being honest with yourself. I talk a lot about this with my clients. If we are not truthful with ourselves, we can't really be truthful with anyone else. Being transparent and vulnerable is not easy. But it is a necessity when you are looking to develop personally. You have to be brutally honest. It's not always easy to hear but you have to do it if you're going to grow.

Keep the main thing the main thing. This one is hard for me. I like to do a lot of things. Sometimes we need to break it down and just run the lap that we are on. It can be as simple as "what are the five things I need to accomplish today?”. I think it was Tim Grover that said "become a master of the average”. In other words, let's do the basics well.

The PEAK of your productivity is the PEAK of your vulnerability. In cycling, they call this "being on the rivet". Have you ever seen a cyclist going really hard? To be “on the rivet” is an old cycling term meaning giving it full exertion, almost to the point of breaking. It derives from the days when riders used riveted leather saddles, and with intense effort, the hips slide forward, leaving the cyclist's posterior straddling the front rivet of the saddle. This is also where the cyclist is a half step from “blowing up” - being done. Long winded example but you get the drift. We are most vulnerable when we are “on the rivet”. Be careful how much time you spend there. 

Be different. Disrupt your industry. I heard marketing/digital media expert Chans Weber say this. So often we operate within the boundaries of what we feel are the norm for our particular business. Don't be afraid to be different. Be disruptive. Shake things up. A lot of great things were accomplished by people that said "I'm not doing it that way”.

What is REQUIRED is not enough. You must do The UNREQUIRED. I hear this one a lot from Ben Newman. Ben is one of my coaches and was most recently named one of the Top 5 Mindset & Performance Coaches in the World by USA Today alongside Ed Mylett, Brendon Burchard, Tim Grover, and Mel Robbins. Ben completes a workout that he calls “The Unrequired” every day - no matter what. It gets done. However, he makes the point that you can't do The Unrequired without first doing The Required. Do what you need to do, but we don't get a medal for that. Then do more. 

What is the single most important daily discipline for me, and on a scale of 1-10, how intentional about that have I been over the last 30 days? I also heard this one from Ben. I think if you focused on nothing else each day, but your single, most important daily discipline, you would probably crush life. Asking yourself how committed to that you are on a scale of 1 to 10 only increases the effectiveness. Note, see the above paragraph on being honest with yourself.

I get to design my life. True enough, right? You might think you have limitations on how you can live life, but when it really comes down to it, you are the only one in control. If that's not the case, something major needs to change. You are either in the wrong relationship or you have the wrong people around you. Do an audit, take stock, find out if you are the one that's really in control.

What does my very best look like? How can I add 10%? I like this one. Again, you need to be honest with yourself here. What is your very best? What does 10% more look like? What would it take to add 10%? Write it down. Look at it. Leave it somewhere where you can see it.

Do something every day to connect with someone on a deeper level. This might be as simple as stopping to chat with somebody in the grocery store line. You never know how you can affect someone's day. You can also do this with family. Are people hearing enough from you?

When you love yourself, you give other people permission to love you. I believe you get back more of what you push out. If people see you being kind to yourself and giving yourself grace, you will probably get that in return. If you are always dumping on yourself and hating on yourself, you can expect that in return as well.

Your hard work puts you where your blessings can find you. Funny how that happens. I often say "the harder I work, the luckier I get". But I don't think luck has anything to do with it. I just try to keep on doing good things and son of a gun if good things don't happen. I can't explain it and I'm not gonna try.

People are watching you. I am reminded of this every time I think nobody's reading this stuff or paying attention to my regular posts on social media. Just when I think no one's listening, someone will tap me on the shoulder and say hey, “I really like your stuff” or “keep going”. Many people watch and never comment, but every once in a while, I'll get a private Facebook message from someone and that little bit of fuel keeps me going.

If it doesn’t GROW, it GOES. You could apply this to most anything. Finance, personal relationships, personal disciplines. If it isn't on an upward trajectory, get rid of it. With regard to the personal relationships, that doesn't mean you nuke every relationship that isn't growing but it might mean you put it in a different box for the moment. Pour into the things that are feeding you back.

Grind. But do so with a purpose. How many times if you ask someone how it's going and the reply is "busy busy". Make sure you're "busy" isn't just chaos. Grind with a purpose, grind with the direction, just don't grind aimlessly.

Who has the keys to your heart and shouldn’t? Get rid of the keys and make it a combination. I heard this one from Tim Grover. It was kind of deep. He was asking who we are letting into our lives and how easy are we making it. He encouraged us to change it to a combination instead of a key. Make it harder for people to get into your inner circle. A bit of a pre-qualification process if you will. Know what the criteria is and stick to it. As I've gotten older, I feel like I have begun to do this organically anyway. I have less time and desire for anything that isn't moving the needle for me.

Everything I need is already in me. This is probably one of my favorite “Ben" quotes. I've also heard it said that "sometimes we ask advice about things we already know the answers to". We are smarter than we give ourselves credit for. And we give others too much credit! We know what's best for ourselves, but sometimes we look to others for validation. Stop. Sit down, take a good look at where you are and where do you want to go. Outline the steps to get there. Then break those steps down to daily tasks and disciplines. And then, go forth and conquer.

Thanks for reading, this started out as a short list of things to think about that I was planning to post on my group coaching Facebook Page called The Peak. But I decided to expand on it and share it to a larger audience. I hope you enjoyed it and got something out of it. As always, I am happy to have a discussion with you if you find yourself struggling with life or business. Getting Summit Coaching & Consulting up and running over the past year has been a blast. I am taking on one on one clients as well as membership into our “Peak” group coaching environment. I am also starting another mastermind group in February. I'd love to tell you more about it. If you think it makes sense to have a conversation and you can schedule a call at the link below. Have a great day!!

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