Strange week...

This week was strange.  I wrapped up a project in Standish and find myself with very little work on the books for the first time in five years.  This economy has me questioning my desire to continue in a business that has become increasingly difficult to operate in.  It coincides with my father's desire to formally retire.  The business has been very successful but I feel like the wave that has swallowed up so many people is closing in on me as well.  In 2010 I will continue "on my own" and try to find a creative way to remain competitive in a tough construction market.  People are just not spending money like they were a couple of years ago.  I find myself thinking more about what I'd like to do OTHER than what I am currently doing.  It is unfortunate because I have poured my heart and soul into this business for five years.  I hate to let go.  It's not my nature.  I think it is important to do what you love and love what you do.  Right now I'm doing neither.  I am pretty cooked.  So, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out what it is I would like to do or would be good at.  Not a real comfortable spot at age 40.  We met with the accountant today.  He was impressed with our progress in this economy and was helpful with some ideas for tax savings.  I continue to be amazed at how much money I have to earn just to be able to keep a modest amount.  It is unreal.  There is very little room for error.   The better I do the more I pay.  Pretty discouraging.  The best part is I have to go out and re create the wheel every January 1st.  The scoreboard resets and we have to do it all over again, only better.  We'll see how it shakes out.  I think I can say that I will not be talking about this at this time next year.  Something's gotta give.  For now, I'll keep pushing, but I'll never take my eye off the ball.  

The other thing that happened this week is I removed myself from the board of the new Triathlon Club some friends and I were trying to put together.  It was a tough decision for me but I felt as though by offering my opinion I was complicating things.  So, simple solution, step away before making enemies of people I have called friends.  Sometimes these things go like this.  I feel I had a lot to offer and am saddened I won't be contributing. I'll join the club and support their efforts.

On Tuesday there was a horrible crash in Naples .  A UPS driver was killed. The person driving the bucket truck that pushed the UPS truck into the path of an oncoming propane truck, is my neighbor.  The UPS driver left behind a wife, a 12 year old son and 10 year old daughter.  He was 43.  My neighbor works for Time Warner and although he was uninjured, I have not seen him since.  What a tragedy.  It was stated in the news that the police suspected he was "distracted".  If this was the case I believe he'll be facing some charges.  That's nothing compared to the burden he'll carry for taking a life.  I have no idea what to say or do.  I will stop by soon to offer our support.  I also have stopped texting and reading e-mails on my Blackberry while driving.  This could have been me. 

My stepson is home from college for the holidays.  I drove to Manchester to pick him up on Wednesday.  He is 19 and has a lot of maturing to do.  I'm sure the same could be said about me at that age.  He is a good kid and we wish we had more time with him.  Bailey sure loves to see him.

So tomorrow morning at 6am I'll get on my bike/trainer and I'll crawl into a world I know will be the same it was when  left it on Thursday night.  I have six friends coming to work out with me and share some laughs, talk some trash.  It will be the perfect end to what has been an odd week.  

Head down and pushin'

BT